I’ve been 152 lbs and I’ve been 93lbs and all kinds of weights in between. I’ve had a body strong enough to run a half marathon and bust out a 6:47 mile on 93 degree day. I’ve had a body so weak and in pain my husband had to help me get dressed and then… Continue reading This body is a lesson
My wish for you on the cusp of this brand new year is to learn to just be. Be in your body. Be in the present. I hope you can feel comfortable from the marrow of your bones to the tips of your eyelashes. I hope you can feel joy when life feels anything but… Continue reading my new years wish for you.
2016 is ending on a hard note, harder than I could have possibly imagined. The CRPS has spread into my right arm, my SECOND spread in 2 months and my 5th spread overall. Specifically it has decided to descend upon my bicep where the PICC line was placed for my 4th and most recent ketamine… Continue reading The endless in-between
This is the last photo I have me of me standing with both feet flat on the floor. I’ll be at the 2 year anniversary of becoming disabled February 5th. It’s still honestly hard to believe its been that long. When it all happened I wanted SO badly to believe this was just an insane… Continue reading pain is important
Sunday afternoon during my ketamine infusion, the wonderful man Robert who brings 3 east their meals stopped by my room to see what I might be able to eat for dinner. He is quite possibly one of my favorite employees at UVA Hospital and every time I am admitted I am so excited to see him because… Continue reading i haunt myself. i heal myself.
My CRPS has spread into my left arm and hand. When I had to have my endoscopy earlier this month, they (as always) had a terrible time getting an IV in me. Due to being chronically nauseous I am ALWAYS dehydrated. The dehydration and having tiny veins means that it often takes multiple people and… Continue reading not giving up yet
A year ago a few days before Thanksgiving, my CRPS decided that it was time to travel from below my knee up to my hip bone. It started that Monday, that familiar burn and deep ache. I didn’t want to believe it was happening, there was no injury, no reason for my brain to decide that… Continue reading A Bitter Pill to Swallow: A Hero’s Journey Through Failed Treatments
Oh my dear readers. I cannot tell you how many posts that have bloomed in my brain since the election. How many times I have placed my hands on these keys, written a little, and then deleted or how many posts I have saved as drafts unsure if they will ever be viewed by anyone… Continue reading This is what I believe.
day FOUR; I apologize in posting this in the early morning of November 5th BUT I still remembered to do it! I had a terrible night t0night. Today was up and down pain wise but I was able to get through the day without a second dose of my morphine. I was super tired because… Continue reading 30 Day Gratitude Challenge: day four
day THREE: Well the universe shed some light on me today. I had to get an endoscopy done to help figure out why I ended up in the ER October 17th and why my upper stomach STILL hurts 2 weeks later. I wouldn’t normally care if they had found an ulcer BUT if there was one,… Continue reading 30 Day Gratitude Challenge: day three