Day TWO: Today someone I know through social media posted a very very very sad blog post about the absolutely heartbreaking reality that she has exhausted every single medical situation she could to be a) properly diagnosed and b) access treatments for said diagnoses. Unless something greatly changes, she will never get better and her day to day existence is one most people cant fathom (including myself). It has been SO painful to read about her journey to try to access treatment and so bitter to see time after time that she can’t or the answer that seems possible suddenly is thought to be “not the answer” I could go on and on about the medical system and how it can fail us tremendously but I won’t right now.
Being sick is such a mindf*ck because you don’t want to be sick but you do WANT a diagnosis so you can feel better…but finding out what’s wrong is also scary and depressing because you then find out what you are up against. I think too often those of us who are chronically ill get focused on how unfair it is that we are sick and in pain (which it is) BUT I do think its important from time to time to be SO grateful that you even know whats wrong so then you CAN begin the process of trying to feel better and get your life back.
There’s WAY too many people in this awful unknown land of being undiagnosed and terrified. I have been there and it was like somehow falling down a hole into alternate reality…but its an awful reality where you feel awful 24/7 and no one can tell you why OR even believe you. I wouldn’t wish it anyone (even the people who I really don’t like…except maybe kind of a certain presidential candidate *wink*)