sean · writings

its always you & me

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Our very first photo together.

Its hard to believe 3 whole years have passed since we got married. So much has happened but at the same time so much still feels the same. Sean is my rock, my lantern, my night train, a soft hand when everything else feels jagged and burning. He is steady and grounded when I am unable to be. He is kind to all strangers and nerdy and smart and funny and very tender-hearted.

I used to believe in soulmates and as I have gotten older I have become more wary of using that term. I have come to believe that we have multiple people who are right for us. The key is finding them at the right time. Hopefully as you each grow older you continue to be the right person for each other. Your love for each other will allow you to grow together and separately.

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Sean happened to me at the right time almost 5 years ago.

My heart had been recently broken and honestly, I really didn’t want to be dating just yet. All of my friends however didn’t agree and several pushed me to just start going on some casual dates just so I wasn’t spending all of my time at work, at the gym, and laying on the couch with my cat and dog feeling sorry for myself. A coworker said “Hey you should go on a date with my friend. He’s sober, likes Thai food, and hates tanning beds. I think you guys would like each other”

An odd description of why we might hit it off but I said “ok sure why not”.

I am ashamed to admit I lurked Sean’s Facebook page and wasn’t enthused by the photos he had on there. They looked NOTHING like how Sean actually looks. So I really was prepared to not like him but when he walked up to me outside the coffee shop, all my head and heart could say in tandem was “oh **** he’s really cute”.

His photos online did him absolutely no justice.

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The dreamiest dude.

We went to a bookstore with a coffee shop and talked for 2 hours. He was articulate, kind, eager to know things about me and very funny. He brought me flowers in a coffee mug and made sure I said yes to second date before he dropped me off at my apartment.

We went on two more dates and then became pretty much inseparable. I called my dad after our third date to tell him I had met the man I would marry. 17 months later this would come to fruition.

We have weathered a lot of tough stuff, more than many go through in just a few years: his mom dying 6 months before we got married, me getting sick 2 months later, me getting sicker, the long road of grief, bad coping mechanisms and old emotional baggage.

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the day after he proposed.

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I could not imagine doing this with anyone but him.

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Sean and I had our first date in a bookstore. We both are HUGE readers so going and looking at books became a part of our relationship. He proposed to me with a book so it made sense to me that books should play a role in our wedding. I spent many hours ripping up books and repurposing them into new beautiful things.

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If I told you I loved you, it wouldnt be enough.
Those three words dont begin to describe the way I feel.
You have changed me, molded me, formed me like wet clay.
You are all I see, my shoes whisper your name as I walk, I see you out of the corner of my eye. You are always with me, you are a part of me and my story.
I dont even have to speak around you, you look in my eyes and you know who I am because I know who you are.

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I would know you if I was blind, my hands would meet your face and recognize that you are my heart.

xo,

10359044_10152888790004989_4154616592360403543_o**all of our beautiful wedding photos are by Purple Fern Photography

 

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